Memories Triggered by Familiar Sounds

The sound of the cicada's was omnipresent. The distant moan and rumble of the train washed over me like a warm shower. But it was the church bell's - just a brief Westminster chime sounding the quarter hour - which evoked the memories triggered by familiar sounds. I had not heard the sound of church bells in ages. A carillon used to sound from the steeple of Columbia Presbyterian Church, located right next to the Columbia seminary campus, several times a day, but most noticeably for me at the six o'clock hour every evening. Then First Congregational United Church of Christ in Elkhart, Indiana, followed by Melbourne UCC in Florida both had carillons serenading the local communities, primarily downtown business districts, with lovely sacred music several times each day. When I moved to Christ Congregational UCC in the south suburbs of Miami the carillon was turned off because the neighbors had complained to the County government about the intrusion into their lives with "church music." Shortly after I arrived we briefly turned the carillon back on, just to play the Westminster chimes on the hour, but the neighbors again began sending us nasty notes. Before we could even decide whether to turn it off or not, the carillon stopped playing and we never pursued repairs. Truth is none of the members of Christ Church really lived close enough to ever hear the bells and, other than the Preschool staff, the rest of the staff was never really present to hear them very often either. Still, I do miss the gentle sound of old church hymns played by carillon bells. Hearing the bells always brought me comfort and peace, often triggering positive, happy memories.

While reflecting on the church bells my ears picked up the distant moaning of a train horn following by the rhythmic parting of the sound waves by the passing of the train cars on nearby tracks. Again, the doors of nostalgia opened on past lives. The sound of trains did not become a regular part of my life until I moved to Columbia Seminary in Decatur, Georgia. The tracks were about a half mile away, close enough to hear the train as a distant romantic serenade, rather than an intrusive oppressive presence. Especially pleasant were the late night trains passing and offering a gentle form of lullaby while trying to drift off to sleep following late night studies. The trains followed me to Cullman, Alabama that first seminary summer, and then to Joshua, Texas my second summer, and even to Elkhart, Indiana in my first church after graduation. For eight years trains offered an audible connection with a romantic view of Americana, the earlier history of westward expansion, and a feeling of the transportation lifeblood of the country pulsating with life. When I moved to Melbourne, Florida, even though the church was one block off the Florida East Coast Railway, the trains did not seem to run as often and I can barely recall their presence. Since moving to Miami they have clearly faded the arena of nostalgia.

Strolling comfortably with these audible memories suddenly the cicadas jumped into my awareness. They had been providing an omnipresent backdrop of white noise so prevalent in northern climes in the temperate zone where forests with significant growth of deciduous trees are the rule. Sitting on the porch where we are staying, the sound of the cicada's ebbed and flowed, swelling to the crescendo that surrounded and enveloped as though it was a physical presence, only to fall to pianissimo level that never fades away, remaining at the lowest level of audible awareness.

I am not as aware of the sounds of my life in Florida as I was during this early morning meditation. What I did recall at that moment, becoming aware of their absence, is the sound of birds that are very present in Miami. There were no songbirds this morning. I don't hear songbirds in Miami either. Our birds are not the melodic type. We have mockingbirds and doves, jays and crows, parrots and peacocks, all joined by the squirrels. They offer more staccato, or screeching, or haunting calls rather than melody, but it is very present.

I will need to listen more closely when I return home to identify the prominent sounds surrounding me, providing the sound track for my life.

(The pictures offer a taste of the setting for this auditory reflection.)

Some final thoughts on/in 2009!

Happy New Year! It is 11:00 p.m. on December 31, 2009. I have done a lousy job of regular postings on this blog this past fall. My last post, "A New Commitment to Sabbath Time" talked about a plan for incorporating mini-retreats into my monthly schedule. I did achieve that to some extent: I had a trip to Orlando in November for the Florida Conference Board of Directors' meeting. I had some great reflection time in the car on the drive to Orlando and actually composed some blog posts in my mind, but then never made the time to sit down and actually commitment them to computer and post on the blog!!!! Then I had a nice weekend off for my annual immersion in NASCAR during the final Sprint Cup race in Homestead, Florida. That has developed into a very enjoyable, mindless, ritual event for me. It started as a means to better connect with my son who was a temporary NASCAR fan when in elementary school, because his best friend was a fan. Eventually Paul grew out of that interest, which was never very deep, but I had become hooked. Unfortunately, the weekend is all focused on watching the cars drive the track and there is not much reflection or meditation time. It is not an experience that requires a lot of mental activity, but it does require focus, even if somewhat mindless. Still, I have grown to enjoy it and look forward to it every year. Over Thanksgiving I enjoyed a long weekend, with a trip to Naples to have Turkey Dinner with my father-in-law. You may remember from the last post that during the trip to Naples in October I actually developed a deeper appreciation for the view from his patio as a place to meditate, reflect and blog. But that didn't develop this time in November, or on our trip over on Christmas Day. Both trips were nice and relaxing in terms of providing a break from the regular hectic schedule of daily work life. The first weekend of December also provided a break of sorts. Dianne and I traveled to Melbourne/Palm Bay to join with the Riviera UCC folks in celebrating 120 years of ministry to those two communities. This was the church I served for 9 years upon first coming to Florida when it was located in downtown Melbourne. I had very little responsibility for the weekend, just reading scripture in worship on Sunday, and enjoying their celebration banquet, greeting and visiting with old friends, on Saturday evening. It was a nice break from the regular Advent routine. This past week was nice and slow and I had a good visit with my two children, even if too brief with my son. He and his sister arrived the day after Christmas, along with Dianne's daughter, her family, and Di's brother and family for a very full day of family Christmas. Then there was worship on Sunday. But we did get to the movies twice as a family, enjoyed several videos and one game of cards, and several good dinners. Now he has gone back to Palm Bay for three days before flying back to Utah for the start of the next semester at college. His sister is returning here tomorrow for a few more days with us, along with one of her new law school buddies who needed a Florida sunshine break from the Pennsylvania winter.

The only problem with all those breaks these past two months is they were actually too many. The result was even more stress and pressure during the regular weeks of work, as all my regular work commitments had to be completed in the remaining time each month. While I really enjoyed the down time and the change of schedule, what I learn from this experience is the need for balance: I need some down time for reflection and meditation, but not too much, unless it is a large block of time taken all at once, like a week or two of vacation, or a longer retreat or continuing education event. I also need to make sure and incorporate at least a brief period for reflecting and writing those reflections so that the time takes on more depth and, especially when I do have a meaningful reflection like I did several times on some of the long drives, I don't lose those thoughts to the ether.

Anyway, while I missed November with a post, here is one for December, a final one for 2009, and I am saving some thoughts for tomorrow morning and hopefully my first post for 2010. Happy New Year!

A New Commitment to Sabbath Time

The sky was bright blue. There was a gentle breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico, which was shimmering invitingly beyond the mangroves & Australian pines. Sitting on my father-in-law’s fifth floor balcony in Naples on Wednesday morning, October 22, working on my submissions for the church newsletter, I wished that was my office setting all the time. I would really enjoy working in such a relaxed setting with such a beautiful, inspiring view.

Later that day Dianne and I then drove north to Clearwater Beach and set up shop on the ninth floor of the Hilton, with a balcony facing north presenting a view of Clearwater Bay and the condos, homes and palm trees of this sleepy little island to the east, and of the beach and the Gulf of Mexico to the west. While this was been a working trip for Dianne who went there to conduct the wedding of the youngest child of a life-long friend she has known since they were both 10 years old, for me it was another form of Sabbath retreat. Yes, I did engage in some work activities: finishing up my newsletter submissions as I previously mentioned, answering emails from parishioners and colleagues, scheduling a substitute preacher for an upcoming Sunday, participating in a conference call meeting of a committee of the Florida Conference UCC, and doing some reading as research for Sunday’s sermon. Even so, there was a much more relaxed rhythm to my days, with work slipped into the seams and edges of the day, while there were also many renewing and regenerating activities composing the bulk of my activity. Each day included a 75 minute walk on the beach (twice at sunrise, once in the middle of the day). I read the New York Times from front page to back every day (a much more complete, comprehensive, and interesting newspaper than my hometown Miami Herald). All three meals every day were relaxed times with Dianne, without a TV and with good conversation. I even enjoyed a little bit of pleasure reading, starting the Pat Conroy novel, South of Broad.

Early in my career as a pastor I read somewhere the suggestion that a pastor ought to schedule a monthly retreat for the purpose of self-renewal, spiritual regeneration and growth. I never felt I could afford to do that every month. I have always been very faithful about observing and keeping my day off each week (of course most people in the work force in the US get two days off, but clergy never seem entitled to that perk). I have also, occasionally, tried to schedule a quarterly retreat, a few days away from my ministry setting, usually at a retreat house. But I have never established even that as a regular pattern. But since my Sabbatical, when I learned how truly renewing time away from the regular schedule of responsibilities, activities, and expectations can be, this past year I have been reflecting more upon the nature of Sabbath as time away. As I look back at the year, especially through these blog posts, I realize I have had some sort of time away almost every month. Some of it has been around family concerns; my father’s failing health and then death, my children going off to law school and college, attending this wedding to support Dianne. Some of it has been more related to work; attending the Florida Conference Annual Meeting and staying over an extra day to enjoy Daytona Beach with my wife. And some has been family vacation time; our trip to Chicago to celebrate Dianne’s birthday with family, our quick trip to Savannah in September.

The result has been a more relaxed pastor during the more common active periods of ministry. I have been able to go about my work with greater energy, a better balanced sense of priorities and perspective, and a fresher capability for creativity. This past year this schedule evolved more by accident than by planning. Having a better understanding of the benefit such a schedule provides, however, leads me to the decision that I want to commit to such a schedule in the future. Toward that end I plan to take a mini-retreat each month this next year. If I will be away during the month for Conference related business or vacation time, I will dedicate a part of that time away to some intentional Sabbath time of reflection and renewal. If such time does not present itself in a month, I will take a 2-3 day mini-retreat during one week of the month and get away from my home, my regular routine, and set aside the time to spend in intentional prayer and reflection on life and my ministry. Such a schedule should provide great benefit to me and to my ministry, and possibly ensure a longer tenure with renewed energy and a healthier attitude and outlook. Stay tuned for more updates on the Sabbath Tango experiment!

Sabbath Tango is a Difficult Dance

I am really struggling to keep posting to this blog. I had set myself a goal of having at least one post each month this year, and here it is almost to the end of September before I am adding something for this month. The month almost slipped by without a post, and I even had 10 days off from work for vacation time with Dianne this month! I must say, it was a very mixed bag as far as vacation time goes. We had to begin the time with a trip to Naples, FL to check on her father who is having some health issues and then we had to end the time with another trip to Naples the last two days to check up on him again. Thankfully, the two trips resulted in good news from the doctors visited, so they were certainly worthwhile and necessary.

Sandwiched between these two trips to Naples was a quick trip to Savannah, GA, which is apparently becoming our new "favorite" southern city. (Sorry Charleston, you are being edged out by your neighbor to the south!) Savannah is a lovely, old south city filled with charm, story, restored 150 year-old houses and other architectural structures, lovely shaded squares, and very gracious hospitality. It also has a beach on Tybee Island (which Charleston has, too) which is very necessary for us as both of us worry we will dry up and wither away if we are ever removed too far from an ocean for too long! We had a very nice time in Savannah. The B & B where we stayed was lovely and very comfortable. The hosts were most attentive and prepared very delicious & filling breakfasts. We had some exquisite meals, very delicious and at least one, very gourmet! We enjoyed some jazz and some street artists.

It was a very enjoyable 4 days. But it did not have the feel of "sabbath" time. Why was that? It was vacation. It was a break from my regular routine. But it was not that special, step aside and live life at a different pace, time. It was somewhat diminished by the fact that I had not completed the work I needed to finish before leaving by Sunday, and so a big chunk of Monday and Tuesday, when I was in Naples, and then back in Miami before leaving for Savannah, was spent working on articles for the Church newsletter. I think it was also kept from being Sabbath time because of the time spent attending to my father-in-law's medical needs. (That was important time and necessary for us to pay attention to, but it was not sabbath time.) And then, for some reason, we filled the time in Savannah to the brim with activity: visiting Fort Pulaski (which was very interesting); visiting the Tybee light house; visiting Bonaventure Cemetery; visiting antique dealers and old houses, including the Mercer-Williams house, which was made famous by Johnny Mercer, whose great-grandfather began building the house before the Civil War, did not finish the house after the war, sold it to someone else, and no other Mercer, including Johnny, ever lived in the house! Everything we did was interesting. But in the short time we were there it felt like we filled the time too much with activity and not enough with laid-back, down-time, with no activity except perhaps to read, enjoy the gardens of the B & B, maybe even sleep some extra time.

What I would conclude is Sabbath Time is hard to find. We do not live in a world that encourages or nurtures sabbath time activities. Even our regular Sabbath Days, (Saturday for the Jews and Seventh-Day Adventists and Sunday for Christians) are filled with activity. For most of us, finding even an hour on Sabbath Day to gather with others for worship is often difficult. And forget about trying to find sabbath time during the rest of the week. Unless you have been laid-off, downsized, or had your hours cut-back, because of the bad economy, you are not working a 40 hour week, you are working a 50 or 60 hour week, often spread over 6 days instead of 5. On top of that you are needing to spend many hours attending to chores and tasks at home. So actually finding time for rest, relaxation, meditation, worship, just being and enjoying creation, it very, very difficult. It is most certainly a dance. As "Dancing with the Stars" has demonstrated for all America, to master a dance takes hard, hard work, time, and dedication. We keep wanting sabbath time to just "materialize" and when it doesn't, we don't seem to know how to advocate for our right to it and are afraid to proclaim how important it is. I wish I had an answer, but instead, as my minimal posts illustrate, it is a difficult tango for me to master as well.

Enjoy the pictures above of Savannah. It is a lovely city. And I encourage you to keep practicing your sabbath tango, as I promise to keep trying to do as well!

The Power of Memory: Remembering & Reliving the Sabbatical

While on a roll, I want to post something other than a complaint-based rant. There have actually been a number of experiences and reflections I have enjoyed this month, related to my Sabbatical of last year, that I just never found the time to sit down and write about on my blog. (That is part of the source of the complaint-based rant.) So, today, my last day of vacation in Chicago, I want to share some reflections on remembering the Sabbatical this month.

When July 1 rolled around this year I discovered a strong sense of melancholy also arrived with the turning of the calendar page. I began remembering exactly where I was and what I was doing one year ago: Paul and I had just arrived in Minnesota; Paul and I were entering the Boundary Waters via canoe; there were no fire-works on the Fourth of July last year as Paul and I were deep in the north woods, far away from civilization. That experience has continued almost all month. In fact, other people have joined me in remembering. My daughter-in-law, Erika, commented last night that I have set a precedent now, two years in a row in Chicago visiting them in July. There are now expectations that I will return to Chicago again in July now that the precedent is set! It was also noted shortly after we arrived this year that last year at this time we had actually just left Chicago to head to St. Louis. I was also very aware on my father's birthday this year, July 19, that last year we were in St. Louis just a few days before his birthday to celebrate with him and this year he is no longer with us, having died in February.

There was another incident earlier in the month that evoked a slightly different take on this nostalgia. Early in July one Saturday morning, in fact I believe it was the Fourth, I made my morning walk to the bay and upon arrival was greeted by several folks embarking from the landing area for a day of fishing from kayaks. As I stood on the landing watching two of the kayaks paddle off toward the bay into the rising sun it seemed to me they were in the wrong place. They should have been paddling away from the Sawbill Landing heading out into a wilderness adventure in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness in northern Minnesota!

There is no memory I can recall of ever having experienced this same sort of nostalgia so strongly as I am experiencing right now around my Sabbatical experience of one year ago. Will this be prominent in my thoughts and feelings for the next three months? Will I in essence relive the Sabbatical in some form this year? And what about in the years to come? Will I have some of these same thoughts and feelings every year during July, August, September and October? Vivid memories are a common part of my life. But never do I recall this strong recollection of where I was and what I was doing at the same time one year ago as I am experiencing with the Sabbatical. Perhaps this is another indication of what a once-in-a-lifetime, life-changing, foundational experience was my adventure of last year.

(The pictures are from the time in the Boundary Waters last year. Just a chance to share more of my thousands of photos with you and to share some of my nostalgia.)

The Difficulty of Learning the Sabbath Tango

Here it is July 22, 2009, and I am making my first post for the month! Last year, even with six days in the wilderness of Northern Minnesota, I already had several posts by this time. In fact, by the 22nd of July, 2008, I was on my way back to Miami after the first three weeks of my Sabbatical feeling very refreshed, relaxed and ready for my South American adventure! This July 22 I am finishing up my one-week vacation, enjoying a final full day in Chicago, and wondering where the vacation time went to so fast?!? One-week of vacation is not nearly enough time off to accomplish what a vacation needs to do in terms of restoring the body, mind and soul. For example, I am just now getting over a cold that is trying to become bronchitis. This hit me two days ago, about half-way through the vacation. It took my body 4 days to realize it was on vacation before it could consider whether it wanted to get sick for vacation or not! It took my mind a good three days to realize it was on vacation before it began to shift into relaxation mode. It has taken my spirit about six days to realize it was on vacation to where I was ready to begin engaging in spirit-renewing activities, such as writing in my journal, or my blog, and reading a book just for fun! Of course, I return to Miami tomorrow and back to work on Friday, so body will have had about 4 days of vacation, 2-3 of them fighting illness; my mind will have had about 5 days of vacation, also 2-3 days of that clouded by my body's illness; and my spirit will have had about 2 days of vacation.

And that is how most of my time off this year is shaping up. We had this week in Chicago to celebrate my wife Dianne's birthday (and we had a wonderful time with our family in Chicago, Jim, Erika, and granddaughters, Madeleine & Shelby.) I will next take a 4.5 days early in August to drive with my daughter,Rebekah, to Pennsylvania to help her get settled in her apartment for Law School which begins later that month. Then, after returning to Miami, a week later I will fly with my son, Paul, out to Salt Lake City, Utah, to help him get settled in Westminster College for his freshman year. I will take about 8 days to make that trip, and the last two days will probably be alone time for me as it appears that the orientation schedule does not include parents on Monday or Tuesday. (That is fine with me, at least I will get a little bit of solo vacation out of the trip!) Then Dianne and I are planning to take a 10 day trip this September, probably to California. Perhaps that will be a long enough experience to bring full refreshment and renewal to my body, mind & soul?!

I am not really complaining, as much as I am bemoaning several realities. First, the fact that we expect too much out of too little far too often in our society. We expect a one or two week vacation to make up for the other 50 highly stressful, highly taxing, highly exhausting weeks we spend at work, at volunteer activities, at household chores, etc. We expect one-hour a week on Sunday mornings to renew our relationship with God and to restore our spiritual health to a balanced place to take us through the week. Our bodies, minds and spirits need regular renewal time and periodic intense, extended renewal time, for good health. It is the way we were created. Besides all the medical studies highlighting this truth, God's plan as detailed in the Bible also teaches us the same thing. God established the Sabbath at the very beginning creating the world: after six days of work, God rested. God knew when to take a break and God taught us that we need to do the same thing. Yet how infrequently do we really take a weekly Sabbath? If we are lucky enough any more to not work on Saturday or Sunday we almost always fill both days with chores and other high levels of activity. How often do we stop to ask ourselves if something we are planning to do will be renewing to our body, mind, spirit, or family relationships?

The other reality I find very sad is that there is so little acknowledgement of the importance of family and family relationships in the structure of our employment practices. I remember when the Family Leave Act was passed by Congress back in the '90's that mandated employers to allow mothers and fathers time off work for the birth or adoption of a baby. It was a major battle to get this law passed! Most employers do not allow for separate sick-leave days for caring for a family member: an employee must use their sick leave, which in most cases is pretty minimal for the year, especially when it must be divided between the employee and one or more dependents. Most employers do not allow for time off for attending to other family care situations: like attending graduations, taking children off to college, etc. To do such a parent must use vacation time. Now I realize there might always be people who would abuse some benefit, but I also realize that we as a society are extremely driven to succeed at all costs, especially when it comes to turning a profit. We have very little humane and compassionate practices in our economic, business, and social relationships. And the church gets sucked right into the same attitudes and practices. This is very sad.

But I am thankful for a caring and understanding congregation of people who, while they expect a lot out of their pastor and like for him to be available 24/7/365, still realize he is a human being who needs time away for renewal and refreshment. They are fairly flexible and as long as I am there at the critical moments, for the most part they allow me space and encourage me to find Sabbath Time so that I can be healthy, whole, and a better person and pastor. Finding such is part of the difficult dance known as Sabbath Tango. As I learned in Argentina one does not pick-up the Tango, and definitely not master it, in just a few lessons. It takes years of practice. Even so with the Sabbath Tango.

(The pictures include: A brown bear cooling himself at the Brookfield Zoo, he definitely seems to have a better handle on the Sabbath Tango than I do; Dianne & I with our children preparing to go out to celebrate her birthday with a fabulous dinner; a view of the Chicago River from the boat tour we enjoyed; a photo of me & Dianne and taking a photo of ourselves and the Chicago skyline in the Cloud Gate in Millenium Park; and a photo of Dianne, Rebekah & Paul at the sign for Millenium Park.)

Another type of mini-sabbatical

"We have lost the ability and time to reflect on our lives today." With these words Ted Runions opened the retreat for the Board of Directors of the Florida Conference United Church of Christ which I recently attended. Everything proceeds at such an accelerated pace, yet we have less time, because we are expected to do more than we used to do. He reminded us that a “retreat” is a gift of time to stop, reflect, and think about what we are doing, why we are doing it, and how it is done. His opening comments reminded me of the purpose of a sabbatical. They also brought to mind how much I treasured and enjoyed the four-month gift of time to do just that in my own life. The longer I am back, the more I try to schedule and create such a time to reflect on my own life in the regular schedule of my days with increasing difficulty and frustration, the more I realize what a truly precious gift were those four months in 2008. Increasingly I feel like the crazy woodpecker who has taken to beating his head against the window in front of my desk. The bird must see its reflection and is either attacking this "other" bird which it feels is a threat, or is trying to make contact, but just keeps banging into this hard glass. I keep trying to find time in my daily routine to write in my journal, or write on my blog, or just sit and think. But it just does not happen. My days are filled with work duties, family duties, and when there appears to be time in the evening, I am often just too tired to focus beyond the television, or bed. I am very thankful that I keep finding small blocks of time, like my father's funeral weekend, or this Board of Director's Retreat weekend, to step away from my regular schedule. And I do some reflecting during those times. But it does not feel as if they are enough to deeply, richly feed my soul.

The Board of Directors' retreat was a sort of mini-sabbatical. Not only did it allow time for reflecting on the work of the Board and on my role with the Board, but the facilitator also helped us identify our Myers-Briggs Personality Types (I am an INFJ) toward the end of helping us clarify the personality of the Board of Directors and giving us some insight how this information can help in our work and functioning as a group. This personal information, however, also provided me an opportunity to engage in some personal reflection. I gained some new insight and recalled some old insight, into my personality type and I was able to reflect somewhat on why I am the way I am and revisit some understanding about how I function and what it most healthy for me. For instance, it was reinforced for me one more time, in one more way, that as an "I" (introvert) type, I draw my energy from time alone. Thus, it is vitally important for me to have quiet time to reflect, to be alone, in order to be re-energized. My daily solo walks are important. Time to write would be a very important positive exercise for me. I have been learning and claiming all these insights in many ways the past 8 months. This was one more confirmation about this self-knowledge. The trick is, as I initially stated, finding and claiming the time to commit to these activities.

The Final Day of Sabbatical

Sitting in my home in Miami, on the last day of my Sabbatical, I am drinking the espresso I made (which does not even begin to approach the marvelous quality of the coffee I enjoyed in Argentina.) I have been home for six days and South America has begun to feel like a hazy dream. It truly was a dream life I enjoyed for 12 weeks. I never would have imagined I would fall so deeply in love with that continent and those countries, Argentina and Peru. I can begin to understand, I think, why British and European travelers fell in love with places like Africa and Asia. It is related to the exotic, yet familiar, nature of new lands. It is related to the level of hospitality one encounters from the local people (always a surprise, for we have this inbred idea that other people, especially foreign people, are never as warm, welcoming and hospitable as we are ourselves.) It is related to one's willingness to invest oneself in a locale and truly embrace it as a home. It is related to the good experiences one has and whether they outweigh the bad. It is related to one's ability to fit in to the culture, to embrace the language, to understand the thinking of the local people. When all of these factors come together in a positive manner, then one will find oneself in a new home, where one feels quite welcome and an integral part of the community, not just an outsider. You discover the place becoming a part of you and you a part of it. That certainly happened for me with Argentina.

It is perhaps the most amazing event of this sabbatical. Although, actually learning to understand and speak the Spanish language in just 12 weeks time is certainly an amazing feat for me, considering my struggle with learning other languages in more traditional educational settings in the United States. Before this sabbatical, I had never really thought much about South America. I was aware of it. I knew people from various countries in the region. I had enjoyed many different movies set in South America and I had a vague sense of the history of the region. But I never had a strong attraction or desire to visit. There were always so many other more exotic, more interesting places on my list. So it was actually quite serendipitous that I chose Argentina as the location for my sabbatical and now I am so glad that I did. In 10 weeks time it became a second home, a second country, for me and it will always have a very special place in my heart.

Now I am engaged in the task of reconnecting with my life in Miami. It is clear to me that I am in a stage of withdrawal and mourning from my life in Argentina. I cooked parilla for my wife and daughter one night, grilling vegetables and a piece of vacio (an Argentine cut of steak I actually found in Publix) and it felt familiar and almost as good as the Argentine grills. I have been eating Argentine and Peruvian chocolate I brought home and looking for ways to order more or find it here in Miami! I have been trying different roasts of coffee beans to find the rich, espresso roast I enjoyed in Argentina. I have been buying various Malbec wines from various Argentine wineries, looking for the quality I enjoyed in country.

Even as I try to hold on to my experiences in Argentina, I have begun to reconnect with my life in Miami. I have played golf at least once and it was good. The four-month lay-off does not seem to have hurt my swing. I have spent most of my time with my family and I have been catching up on chores around the house which needed attention. Today is the official last day of the sabbatical and tomorrow I officially return to work. Sunday I return to leading worship and I understand a Bienvenido a Tu Casa luncheon has been planned for after worship. It will be a joy to see the folks of the church and to begin reconnecting with them. In truth, I have the feeling the sabbatical will continue to unfold and even though today is the official end, the impact and affects of the sabbatical will continue for months to come.

Back in Miami!

All it took was a five and one-half hour airplane ride and my South American adventure was over! Yesterday Dianne and I had a rather uneventful flight from Lima, Peru to Miami and it feels like I have awakened from a marvelous dream. It was great to be greeted at the airport by my daughter, step-daughter and her husband, and my newest granddaughter. I have really missed family and it was a nice surprise to walk out of the International Arrivals restricted area to see them in the lobby and not have to wait for them curbside. It has been a full 24 hours with family as we had dinner with them last night and went back to their house for lunch today to visit with another long time friend who is almost like family.

But it feels strange to be back in my home in Miami. In fact, the initial feelings are that it doesn't feel like "home." It is the same house. My "stuff" is still here. My family lives here. But there was a "strangeness" to walking in last night. It is an early confirmation of what I was anticipating in South America that there will be a time of adjustment for me upon return. We are usually so caught up in the day to day "everydayness" of our lives that 8, 12, 16 weeks fly by and don't seem so long in the course of a year. Yet, in truth they are a significant passage of time. Twelves weeks is what I spent out of the United States, living in South America. It is a fourth of a year. Sixteen weeks is what I spent away from work on Sabbatical. That is a third of a year. A lot happens in those amounts of time. For me, a lot happened here at home that I missed. And a lot happened to me, that others, except through my blog, have not experienced with me. How all of this will mesh together to allow me to re-engage with my former life here in Miami will be a most interesting process. Probably as interesting, if not more so, as the Sabbatical experience itself.

For now, I plan to take my re-entry nice and slow. I do not plan to think too much about work or what I need to be doing when I return to work very much this next week. I plan to spend time performing some maintenance chores around the house. My wife and daughter did a great job taking care of the house in my absence, but some things, like taking down hurricane shutters put up as a precaution, they really cannot do. I also want to play at least one round of golf, it has been four months since I have swung my golf clubs. I plan to brush up on my Spanish lessons. Even though the last two weeks were spent in Peru, a Spanish-speaking country, most of our time was in tourist areas, where most of the service people we dealt with spoke some, if not a lot, of English and tended to assume we knew no Spanish. So, it was almost like being back in Miami two weeks early: in an environment where there was Spanish being spoken around us, but an environment where it was not necessary for us to know Spanish to function. In that regards, I am very glad I chose Argentina and not Peru for my Spanish language classes. I know I was surrounded by Spanish speakers and most of the 8 weeks I was in Argentina, it was necessary for me to know Spanish to function. It was truly an immersion experience that helped me learn the language. Based on my recent experience in Peru, I am not sure I would have found the same type of immersion experience there.

I also want to spend some significant time this week reflecting on my entire Sabbatical. I know this will be an on-going process, but I want to begin that process this week before work responsibilities begin to impinge on my time and attention. During the past 4 months I have done some reflecting on what I was experiencing, what I was learning, what it might mean for me moving forward. But now that I am nearing the end of the Sabbatical, I want to revisit those reflections, deepen them, and refine them. I want to begin to seriously contemplate what all this might mean for me moving into the future.

Back in Miami!

Paul and I have arrived back home in Miami after our 22 day adventure to begin my Sabbatical. In that time we traveled to the upper Midwest, almost to Canada and then down to the heart of Texas, stopping in Chicago and St. Louis along the way. We saw amazing wildlife up close in their natural habitat, pushed our bodies to their physical limits, lost weight, ate good food and bad food, as well as freeze-dried food. We reconnected with family, much of which we had not seen for 4-5 years. It was a more draining trip than either of us imagined, but a very important piece of this Sabbatical. My plan in scheduling this trip at the start was to provide myself a month to decompress, de-stress and disconnect from my daily routine at the Church. From the research I did about sabbaticals it seemed important to provide this buffer between my regular schedule and the meat of the sabbatical, the trip to South America to learn Spanish. This trip certainly accomplished that goal. The Boundary Waters expedition at the beginning did exactly what I expected it to do: get me away from computers, cell phones, TVs, radios, newspapers, all means of communication with the wider world. For six days I was alone with my son in the middle of a portion of the world still approaching the virgin state God created. Even though I came out of the woods and began using my cell phone to call home and my laptop to check email, it helped me begin to let go of that world and those responsibilities. I have learned it is very difficult for me to let go and not keep checking on what is happening at the Church, but this time away has helped me begin to let those ties loosen and drop away. It also helped me begin to get in the right frame of mind to be gone from home for 3 months. After three weeks I was definitely ready to come home. I realize now it will be a little more difficult than I anticipated to be gone for such a long stretch. I trust that I will be helped in dealing with the absence by the routine of taking classes each morning and the task of learning and practicing my Spanish language skills. It will also be important for me to develop some routines, such as walking, regularly praying & meditating, and daily journaling to reflect on my experiences. I must also be sure to be kind and gentle with myself and not expect or push for too much. Tomorrow I will share a little about the experiences we had visiting family.