A New Commitment to Sabbath Time

The sky was bright blue. There was a gentle breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico, which was shimmering invitingly beyond the mangroves & Australian pines. Sitting on my father-in-law’s fifth floor balcony in Naples on Wednesday morning, October 22, working on my submissions for the church newsletter, I wished that was my office setting all the time. I would really enjoy working in such a relaxed setting with such a beautiful, inspiring view.

Later that day Dianne and I then drove north to Clearwater Beach and set up shop on the ninth floor of the Hilton, with a balcony facing north presenting a view of Clearwater Bay and the condos, homes and palm trees of this sleepy little island to the east, and of the beach and the Gulf of Mexico to the west. While this was been a working trip for Dianne who went there to conduct the wedding of the youngest child of a life-long friend she has known since they were both 10 years old, for me it was another form of Sabbath retreat. Yes, I did engage in some work activities: finishing up my newsletter submissions as I previously mentioned, answering emails from parishioners and colleagues, scheduling a substitute preacher for an upcoming Sunday, participating in a conference call meeting of a committee of the Florida Conference UCC, and doing some reading as research for Sunday’s sermon. Even so, there was a much more relaxed rhythm to my days, with work slipped into the seams and edges of the day, while there were also many renewing and regenerating activities composing the bulk of my activity. Each day included a 75 minute walk on the beach (twice at sunrise, once in the middle of the day). I read the New York Times from front page to back every day (a much more complete, comprehensive, and interesting newspaper than my hometown Miami Herald). All three meals every day were relaxed times with Dianne, without a TV and with good conversation. I even enjoyed a little bit of pleasure reading, starting the Pat Conroy novel, South of Broad.

Early in my career as a pastor I read somewhere the suggestion that a pastor ought to schedule a monthly retreat for the purpose of self-renewal, spiritual regeneration and growth. I never felt I could afford to do that every month. I have always been very faithful about observing and keeping my day off each week (of course most people in the work force in the US get two days off, but clergy never seem entitled to that perk). I have also, occasionally, tried to schedule a quarterly retreat, a few days away from my ministry setting, usually at a retreat house. But I have never established even that as a regular pattern. But since my Sabbatical, when I learned how truly renewing time away from the regular schedule of responsibilities, activities, and expectations can be, this past year I have been reflecting more upon the nature of Sabbath as time away. As I look back at the year, especially through these blog posts, I realize I have had some sort of time away almost every month. Some of it has been around family concerns; my father’s failing health and then death, my children going off to law school and college, attending this wedding to support Dianne. Some of it has been more related to work; attending the Florida Conference Annual Meeting and staying over an extra day to enjoy Daytona Beach with my wife. And some has been family vacation time; our trip to Chicago to celebrate Dianne’s birthday with family, our quick trip to Savannah in September.

The result has been a more relaxed pastor during the more common active periods of ministry. I have been able to go about my work with greater energy, a better balanced sense of priorities and perspective, and a fresher capability for creativity. This past year this schedule evolved more by accident than by planning. Having a better understanding of the benefit such a schedule provides, however, leads me to the decision that I want to commit to such a schedule in the future. Toward that end I plan to take a mini-retreat each month this next year. If I will be away during the month for Conference related business or vacation time, I will dedicate a part of that time away to some intentional Sabbath time of reflection and renewal. If such time does not present itself in a month, I will take a 2-3 day mini-retreat during one week of the month and get away from my home, my regular routine, and set aside the time to spend in intentional prayer and reflection on life and my ministry. Such a schedule should provide great benefit to me and to my ministry, and possibly ensure a longer tenure with renewed energy and a healthier attitude and outlook. Stay tuned for more updates on the Sabbath Tango experiment!

The Difficulty of Learning the Sabbath Tango

Here it is July 22, 2009, and I am making my first post for the month! Last year, even with six days in the wilderness of Northern Minnesota, I already had several posts by this time. In fact, by the 22nd of July, 2008, I was on my way back to Miami after the first three weeks of my Sabbatical feeling very refreshed, relaxed and ready for my South American adventure! This July 22 I am finishing up my one-week vacation, enjoying a final full day in Chicago, and wondering where the vacation time went to so fast?!? One-week of vacation is not nearly enough time off to accomplish what a vacation needs to do in terms of restoring the body, mind and soul. For example, I am just now getting over a cold that is trying to become bronchitis. This hit me two days ago, about half-way through the vacation. It took my body 4 days to realize it was on vacation before it could consider whether it wanted to get sick for vacation or not! It took my mind a good three days to realize it was on vacation before it began to shift into relaxation mode. It has taken my spirit about six days to realize it was on vacation to where I was ready to begin engaging in spirit-renewing activities, such as writing in my journal, or my blog, and reading a book just for fun! Of course, I return to Miami tomorrow and back to work on Friday, so body will have had about 4 days of vacation, 2-3 of them fighting illness; my mind will have had about 5 days of vacation, also 2-3 days of that clouded by my body's illness; and my spirit will have had about 2 days of vacation.

And that is how most of my time off this year is shaping up. We had this week in Chicago to celebrate my wife Dianne's birthday (and we had a wonderful time with our family in Chicago, Jim, Erika, and granddaughters, Madeleine & Shelby.) I will next take a 4.5 days early in August to drive with my daughter,Rebekah, to Pennsylvania to help her get settled in her apartment for Law School which begins later that month. Then, after returning to Miami, a week later I will fly with my son, Paul, out to Salt Lake City, Utah, to help him get settled in Westminster College for his freshman year. I will take about 8 days to make that trip, and the last two days will probably be alone time for me as it appears that the orientation schedule does not include parents on Monday or Tuesday. (That is fine with me, at least I will get a little bit of solo vacation out of the trip!) Then Dianne and I are planning to take a 10 day trip this September, probably to California. Perhaps that will be a long enough experience to bring full refreshment and renewal to my body, mind & soul?!

I am not really complaining, as much as I am bemoaning several realities. First, the fact that we expect too much out of too little far too often in our society. We expect a one or two week vacation to make up for the other 50 highly stressful, highly taxing, highly exhausting weeks we spend at work, at volunteer activities, at household chores, etc. We expect one-hour a week on Sunday mornings to renew our relationship with God and to restore our spiritual health to a balanced place to take us through the week. Our bodies, minds and spirits need regular renewal time and periodic intense, extended renewal time, for good health. It is the way we were created. Besides all the medical studies highlighting this truth, God's plan as detailed in the Bible also teaches us the same thing. God established the Sabbath at the very beginning creating the world: after six days of work, God rested. God knew when to take a break and God taught us that we need to do the same thing. Yet how infrequently do we really take a weekly Sabbath? If we are lucky enough any more to not work on Saturday or Sunday we almost always fill both days with chores and other high levels of activity. How often do we stop to ask ourselves if something we are planning to do will be renewing to our body, mind, spirit, or family relationships?

The other reality I find very sad is that there is so little acknowledgement of the importance of family and family relationships in the structure of our employment practices. I remember when the Family Leave Act was passed by Congress back in the '90's that mandated employers to allow mothers and fathers time off work for the birth or adoption of a baby. It was a major battle to get this law passed! Most employers do not allow for separate sick-leave days for caring for a family member: an employee must use their sick leave, which in most cases is pretty minimal for the year, especially when it must be divided between the employee and one or more dependents. Most employers do not allow for time off for attending to other family care situations: like attending graduations, taking children off to college, etc. To do such a parent must use vacation time. Now I realize there might always be people who would abuse some benefit, but I also realize that we as a society are extremely driven to succeed at all costs, especially when it comes to turning a profit. We have very little humane and compassionate practices in our economic, business, and social relationships. And the church gets sucked right into the same attitudes and practices. This is very sad.

But I am thankful for a caring and understanding congregation of people who, while they expect a lot out of their pastor and like for him to be available 24/7/365, still realize he is a human being who needs time away for renewal and refreshment. They are fairly flexible and as long as I am there at the critical moments, for the most part they allow me space and encourage me to find Sabbath Time so that I can be healthy, whole, and a better person and pastor. Finding such is part of the difficult dance known as Sabbath Tango. As I learned in Argentina one does not pick-up the Tango, and definitely not master it, in just a few lessons. It takes years of practice. Even so with the Sabbath Tango.

(The pictures include: A brown bear cooling himself at the Brookfield Zoo, he definitely seems to have a better handle on the Sabbath Tango than I do; Dianne & I with our children preparing to go out to celebrate her birthday with a fabulous dinner; a view of the Chicago River from the boat tour we enjoyed; a photo of me & Dianne and taking a photo of ourselves and the Chicago skyline in the Cloud Gate in Millenium Park; and a photo of Dianne, Rebekah & Paul at the sign for Millenium Park.)

A Birthday Gift to Myself

It was a type of "mini-sabbatical" today. Since it was my birthday I decided to take most of the day "off" from work. An additional round of golf for the week was my gift to myself. About 9 a.m. I called my regular golf partner, Frank, to see what he was doing for the day, and then we spontaneously visited a course we have played before, but not our regular course. The day was beautiful, bright blue skies, with clouds floating by in lazy fashion. It is a slightly easier course than we normally play, but even so, Frank shot one of his best rounds in a long time, an 81! I told him it was my "gift" to him (to let him beat me on my birthday! I shot an 87, still pretty good.) Being in a good mood after that, Frank bought me lunch at his favorite French Cafe. We enjoyed Prosciutto d'Amore on ciabbata bread sandwiches, and French coffee! Nice, relaxing morning! After getting cleaned up I then spent a little time in the afternoon engaging in pastoral care work, visiting some of my parishioners who live at East Ridge Retirement Village. I know you are not supposed to work on a "sabbatical," but I have been needing to see some of these folks for quite some time and they were very pleased to see me. Pastoral care, especially of this sort, is actually very enjoyable and even somewhat relaxing for me, sort of like visiting good friends. Especially since the conversations for these folks include some sharing of my life and of events and activities at the church, as a way of sharing news and connecting them with the wider world, as well as listening to them share about their lives, their families and friends, etc.

These sorts of days need to be a regular part of all of our lives. I know they are difficult for me to take and enjoy, as I am very responsible and very driven in terms of how much work I am aware is always needing my attention and energy. Yet I also know that God's design for humanity and the creation includes a regular sabbath every seventh day. While I am pretty good about taking my day off each week, there needs to be regular special days of rest, reflection, meditation, in my schedule for me to be re-energized and for me to do more than just the regular work that is part of a pastor's schedule. More and more that work has become task oriented and less and less the work of one who reflects on life and seeks the deeper theological insights into life.

But today was a day to reclaim some of that ability. It was a day for me. It was a day for sharing with family and friends. It was a day for thinking about life and for blogging. Now if I can just claim a day like this sooner than a year from now when my birthday rolls around again. Then I will be making real progress on implementing a learning from my sabbatical!

A Different Type of Sabbath Time

Sabbath time it definitely is. But it is such a strange type of sabbath time. I am speaking of the period of time we take for initial mourning and grieving when a loved one dies. I totally understand why it is necessary. I learned early on Tuesday morning, February 17th, that my father had died at about 6:00 a.m. Central Standard Time in Mountain Home, Arkansas. For the next three days I had to make arrangements to travel to Mountain Home; contact family members who would want to know the news; take care of details at work for me to be absent on a Sunday morning and for 5 days total; and cover some of my regular work duties for those three days. All of that I did, but with a lot of distraction. My mind constantly wandered. I found it very difficult to remain focused. And I was not always distracted by thoughts of my father. Sometimes, I was. Sometimes it was thoughts of my mother, who has been dead for 10 years. Sometimes, I could not tell you what it was, other than my mind would just wander and I did not have the energy, or desire, to stay focused on one task for a very long time.

So, I fully understand the need we have as human beings, as spiritual beings, as emotional creatures, for sabbath time, down time, grieving time. Not that we can wrap up all of the grieving we might need to do in a few days. But, it is important for us to spend this time doing very little. It is important to spend time gathering with family we might not have seen for years. It is important to spend time allowing our minds to wander, for memories to surface and be reflected upon and rehearsed and sat with. It is important to spend time sharing stories about our deceased loved one, about our childhoods, about our separate and joint experiences with the one we are missing.

Sabbath time is a time for renewal. It is also a time to honor God. And during this type of sabbath time, our grieving sabbath, we honor God by honoring the loved one who has died. By stopping our regular lives, our regular routines, we say to the world, and to ourselves, "This person was important in my life, to me. The loss of this person needs to be marked and remembered. The life of this person needs to be celebrated and honored with respect and love. This person is a child of God and their life needs to be celebrated and given back to God with gratitude and thanksgiving." All of this we say through our action of taking sabbath time to mourn, grieve, and celebrate.

All this I am taking time for right now in Mountain Home, Arkansas and St. Louis, Missouri. All this I am engaged in with my brothers and sisters, uncles and friends of my father, and with the support of my wife, Dianne, and the support of many myriad prayers being lifted up for me and my family by family and friends and colleagues and church members not present physically, but clearly felt spiritually. This is a very different type of Sabbath, but it is every bit as important as regular weekly sabbath time and periodic Sabbatical time. And it is a gift, one which I treasure.

Off to the Jungle!

Tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m. we are being picked up by our faithful taxi driver Sergio (although we have not found a bad taxi driver yet) to be driven to the "other" airport, Aeroparque Jorge Newberry, where we will catch our Lan Argentina flight to Puerto Iguazu. It will be 3 days and two nights in the jungle on the border with Brazil and Paraguay, enjoying the incredible Iguazu Falls. We will be communing with the abundant rainforest flora and fauna, including mammoth butterflies, mischevious coatis, talkative parrots and jaguars. It will be a very interesting break from the city.

Today was a very laid back day of getting ready for this side-trip. Steve did laundry in the morning at his favorite neighborhood lavadero (laundromat). Dianne explored the local shops. They went to Steve's favorite lunch place when he was taking classes in Buenos Aires, Nuevo Martone on Avenue Corrientes, and Dianne met Marcello and the gang. They then dropped in on Senora Restelli, with whom Steve stayed when he was in school here. (She was quite impressed with the improvement in Steve's spanish and she was very sweet to Dianne.) Then they went to visit the school and Dianne met Ale, Steve's teacher and Norma, the secretary. They then walked down to Calle Florida and visited several shops, Plaza San Martin, where Dianne asked a police officer why all the officers were standing in a circle around the statue (she learned there was some sort of demonstration to take place in a little while.) After catching a taxi back to Palermo, they had a marvelous dinner at 1810 Cocina Regionale with a nice bottle of Malbec, delicious empanadas, a stew and a squash chicken pot pie, topped off by a very rich dessert with dulce de leche and merengue and two cafes. It was a very enjoyable day.

Tomorrow we are off to Iguazu as already shared, without the computer. So we will probably not post pictures or information about the Falls until Thursday evening.

Still Waiting for Dianne

The way life has been going recently, this is no surprise. It is 11:15 a.m. in Buenos Aires and I am still waiting for Dianne's arrival. For some reason, she was not told why, her flight from Miami was delayed 13 hours. That meant she spent last night in the airport Marriott in Miami (courtesy of Lan Argentina, with dinner and breakfast on them) and her flight is scheduled to arrive in Buenos Aires now at 8:25 p.m. local time. Complicating her life beyond that event yesterday was the fact that there were terrible thunderstorms in Miami on Sunday night, one of which knocked out the power at our home for several hours. It also messed up the Internet connection and the telephone lines, (even after the power resumed) all of which complicated her efforts to prepare to leave. But I just spoke with her 15 minutes ago and she was sitting on the plane which appeared to be on-time for departure. So it will only be 9 more hours!

In spite of this glitch, life is returning to normal and my outlook is definitely improving. This morning I was finally able to pick-up the locks to the closets in my apartment from the locksmith with the new keys. I had been very bothered about this because I did not return in time on Saturday to get them and he had closed. He remained closed not only Sunday (which was expected) but also all day Monday (which had me very nervous). On top of the anxiety it added to the fact that every time I had to go out since Friday's trauma I could not secure my computer and other valuable inside the apartment. Nothing happened (actually there is pretty good security on the apartment building itself), but after Friday, my paranoia is definitely on level orange if not red. (I think that is the order for the Homeland Security alerts?) The locksmith was also able to open the lock on my suitcase so I could put a new lock on it (the keys to that lock were also in the backpack) and again have access to my passport! So, the suitcase is now accessible again and the locks are back on the closets. I learned you can use a steak knife as a flat-blade screwdriver. (All sorts of things I am learning on this sabbatical!)

I am listening to the two Tango CDs I purchased this weekend as I write these words, so my attitude toward Buenos Aires is growing more positive as life slowly returns to normal. I was able to reschedule the taxi driver late last night when I found out about the change in Dianne's arrival, which was quite an accomplishment. He speaks almost no English. Plus I had lost his telephone number in the robbery. But I found it on my Skype history. I was able to find a late night locutorio (public telephone shop) to call him. He answered his cell phone so I did not have to leave a message. I was able to communicate what happened and renegotiate when he would pick me up to go to the airport, all in Spanish! (I did write it out before I called, but still...) So I am feeling more capable, more positive about things, than I have for several days.

I also want to say "Thank you" to all those who reached out to me during this difficult time with kind words of support and encouragement. Some did so through my blog, and some through direct emails and some on my Facebook page. All of your comments were strengthening to me and it was good to know I was truly not alone in this situation and, even though distant from me, I was still surrounded by a community of love, support, and concern. God is good and God does provide, almost always in ways we do not expect, but always God demonstrates we are not alone. Thank you all.

Where I lived and studied in Cordoba

This is my last post for at least 24-36 hours. This afternoon I board the bus for San Carlos de Bariloche, a small resort town in the Andes mountains on Lake Nahuel Huapi. It is supposed to be beautiful, even the two men who run the local mini-grocery market where I have been buy fruit responded last night to my statement that it was the last time I would see them because I was going to Bariloche the next day with "Que linda" & "muy bonita!" (How beautiful!) I wanted to give you one more quick post about where I have been studying and living and with whom in Cordoba. I will have to add the Kodak link to more pictures of my home interior later when I have better computer access, but for now here are the pictures of my teacher, my home-stay family, and the locations.

The first picture shows my hostess, Señora Maria del Carmen Linzitto (Luli to those who know her and love her [which includes the 110 foreign students she has hosted in her home in the past 10 years, along with countless Argentine students as well]), with Fanny Lopez, a young woman living here while she works to raise money to pay for her to become a missionary to Mozambique, and Shigeharo Fujimoto, a Japanese student studying Spanish at the University of Cordoba. The second picture is Luli's home, entered through the left hand door of the two shown, to go upstairs to the apartment. My bedroom is the upstairs window at the far right.

The third picture is of me with my teacher in Cordoba, Señora Olga Yanovich de Parmigiani. Finally, there is a picture of the building which held the school, on the seventh floor, yes the top floor, but there was a lift, thank goodness. Now that I am leaving, these are the people and places I spent much of my time with, although as you have already read, I did see a lot and spent every afternoon out and about. I will try to post pictures of the people and places I live and study in Bariloche earlier in my stay there. Until I post from Bariloche, Adios y ciao!

I have made it through two weeks of Spanish class

Today I completed my second week of Spanish language classes. My fellow student, Phillip Lolonis received his Certificate of Completion for 40 classes (basically 40 hours) of Spanish Language. After we had our final lunch together at our favorite local Bar/Cafe, La Nueva Martone (which was one of our best finds in Buenos Aires so far) he got on a bus for Bariloche, where he will scout out the terrain for me prior to my arrival there in two weeks. Actually, he is taking two weeks of lessons there so he can enjoy the skiing (at which he is quite experienced) and look for more good Argentinian wines. Above is a group picture of some of the students who were in school here these past two weeks, most of whom are leaving after today for other adventures or to return home. Therefore, I will have a private class next week, sort of a one-on-one tutoring session for my lessons. I am actually excited about that, as I think with the foundation laid this week I will make some excellent progress in that sort of setting for a change.

After two weeks of language classes and 15 days in total in Buenos Aires, I have become much more comfortable here and have a better understanding of my initial difficulties. I have traveled all over the United States; to France, Switzerland, and England when I was 18 years old; to Italy in 2004 and Israel in 2006, and I have never really experienced culture shock. I have always considered myself a very open person, accepting of different people and cultures, and excited to experience different places. I still consider that to be true. But I must admit that my first days in Buenos Aires I was reeling from culture shock. I don't fully understand why. Perhaps the weather played a part: it was gray and cloudy, cold and dreary my first three days. Perhaps being here alone: I have traveled alone in the U.S., but I have never traveled overseas alone, always in a group or with my wife. Perhaps it was landing in a big city which is experiencing very tough economic times and encountering a people for whom life is very tough right now. I don't really know, but I do know that by beginning to gain a grasp on the language; by meeting people, both those who speak English from the States, England, and other countries; and by meeting and getting to know local Argentineans, all that helps to make me feel at home and not such a stranger in a strange land. It does help me learn again, (a lesson I already understood, but which I now understand in a new way, at a deeper level of my being) the importance of hospitality to the stranger. A warm welcome makes all the difference in the world to someone who is a stranger in a strange land!