Look Up!

I have walked our 2 dogs, Molly & Ivy, past this large oak tree on the corner of our block dozens of times since we have moved here just over a month ago. It just seemed an ordinary oak tree with a large, unremarkable trunk.  But this morning when I was walking the dogs, they paused for an unusually long time at the base of that oak, sniffing all around as they do.  While standing there this time my eyes traveled up the trunk of the oak to an amazing sight!  The branches of the oak were covered in small ferns and other lush green plant growth.  All of it was clearly not part of the oak tree, but rather was evidence of a living, thriving plant community that had taken up residence on that tree.  There seemed to be an entire ecosystem in the branches of that oak tree.  But I had never noticed it before because I had never looked up!  I had never lifted my gaze from the ground to take in what was around me on a higher level.

How often do we go through our days with our gaze focused on the ground!?  For the past two months that has been where my gaze has been directed.  It has been locked on the ground in front of me as I have been totally task-oriented and focused.  For the past two months I have been consumed with the tasks of closing down our life in Miami and restarting our life in Savannah.  It was not an easy move. 

While our move was complicated by the onset of health issues and unexpected knee surgery for my spouse, I suspect that no move in our modern, hi-tech society is easy.  There are just so many tasks involved in relocating a life: from closing down accounts (and in some cases returning equipment), notifying all sorts of people and businesses of address changes, boxing up your life (and in the process sorting through all your possessions to decide what needs to be moved, what can be sold, what should be given away, and what needs to be trashed) scheduling the move (including assistance with loading the truck), scheduling the start-up of utilities and services in the new location, actually moving all your possessions and then the process of unloading the truck and unpacking the boxes. 

Of course, this is just a microcosm of most of our lives in general. For me I can point to any number of rationalizations for what has been transpiring in my personal and work life for the last number of years that have kept me focused on accomplishing the task in front of me and when it was done moving right on to the next task presenting itself.  This is often praised as good concentration; being focused; responsible; strong work-ethic.  But in the process we miss so much.

With my gaze focused on the immediate task, on the ground in front of me, I miss the hidden ecosystem thriving above my head.  I miss the faces of the people I pass on the street.  I miss the beautiful blue sky above, and the cotton ball clouds gently floating along.  I miss the opportunities to pet the dogs, to play with grandchildren, to gaze with love in my wife’s eyes.  I miss the possibility of engaging in relaxed conversation with dear friends and sharing memories and stories with extended family.  I miss the chance to relish and treasure the places which make the place I live special and then wonder when I leave why I never visited that place or did that thing.

There is so much more to life than attending to tasks and responsibilities.  While many of those things are necessary and need attention, if that is all we pay attention to, we will miss so much of the beauty, wonder, and special moments of life which truly lift it and make it unique and worthwhile.  One of the gifts of retirement is unfettered time.  I want to make sure it does not become frittered time and one way to do that is to be sure to LOOK UP more.  It is also the gift of Sabbath time, which God offers us once each seven days and encourages us to find even more opportunities to embrace.

Taking time to LOOK UP is one action which might lead to more Sabbath moments.

A New Beginning

Five years!  I cannot believe it!  It has been FIVE YEARS since I last posted in this space.  Sabbath Tango went dormant for five years, and oh, so much has happened!  There has definitely been a lot of Tango (more figuratively than literally) during that time and there has been, sadly, very little Sabbath (at least in the sense of true rest, time with God, time to soak in creation and enjoy the life God bestowed upon me.)  So much has happened and, while my inclination is to try to bring you up to speed all at once, I realize that would not be in the spirit of this blog, so let me just say that I am beginning anew.

I am renewing Sabbath Tango, and I believe that the original intent of this space will still be honored by my new postings.  Originally I created this blog to document and reflect upon my Sabbatical in 2008.  The majority of that time was spent in Argentina, learning the Spanish language and the culture of Buenos Aries.  Thus the name: Sabbath, a time of rest, reflection and renewal & Tango, the national dance of Argentina.  But more than that: the title expressed a belief that all of life is composed of a rhythm between pause and action – just like the Tango, which has deliberate movement, highlighted by flurries of activity and punctuated by pauses in all of it.

As I already hinted, my life has changed dramatically recently.  I am not on a new Sabbatical.  Rather, I have retired from my position as local church pastor.  After serving 5 different congregations in five different communities for the past 40 years, the last one for 24 of those years, it was time for me to take an extended “sabbatical” from local church work.  I have done just that and in the posts to come I will share reflections on that experience of saying good-by to a local church and to local church ministry.  I will also continue to post reflections on my new life and on what unfolds as the Spirit guides me into new activity.

I invite you to follow along and pray my reflections may prompt reflections of your own.

Sabbath Time is Observation Time

Observation. This is another important reason to include sabbath time in one's schedule on a regular basis. With our hectic, high-speed, high-stress, constantly on the go, one more thing to do, scheduled lives today, we move so quickly and so distractedly through life that we seldom take the time to simply "observe" life. We might spend more time than we should (I know I do) "watching" TV shows, sporting events, even news. But how much time do we devote to simply "observing" the world around us: watching our children or grandchildren play, especially when they are not aware of our presence; watching the birds in the trees and bushes outside the window, or the lizards on the pool deck; watching the clouds form and float by; watching a rain shower or thunderstorm pour out its fury; watching the sunrise or sunset long enough to enjoy all the subtle color shifts during the event.

Beyond the obvious exercise benefits and the hour plus for meditation, the opportunity to observe the world around me is one reason I treasure my time to walk each day. It is during my walking times that I most often see the wildlife which inhabits the world with us. They are always there, but when we are zipping from place to place in our steel-encased automobiles we zoom by them so quickly we easily miss their presence. Last week while in Georgetown, Texas I walked three mornings at sunrise. The first day I spied 5 white-tail deer. The next morning, walking in a light rain shower I noticed 3 more deer. The last morning, a beautiful dawn, I doubled my count and saw 8 deer. That made a total of 16 sightings of deer in 3 days. (I realize some of them may have been the same animals, since they were all sighted along the same 2 mile stretch of road. Even so, the 8 deer spotted the last day were all distinct, separate animals.) I also saw what I believe was a spotted owl on the first morning fly across the roadway, being chased by some smaller bird.

Speaking of "observation" - as I write this blog post I just glanced outside the window above my desk and the sun has evidently shifted to strike with illumination, a large, intricate, well-crafted spider web hanging directly a foot beyond the window. I just looked up at the right time to notice it. Had I not done so, as I can tell now, a few minutes later, I would have missed it, for the sun angle has shifted again and the web has become almost invisible from this spot. So much of observation is obviously about timing. And being in a mode of alertness and readiness to receive.

While I enjoyed seeing the deer in Texas, I live in a veritable paradise of wildlife activity and enjoy spotting fellow creatures regularly on my walks here in South Florida. Regularly I enjoy the company of peacocks with their brilliant turquoise and aquamarine colored feathers, aw well as flocks of ibis along with lone herons, great and small, white and blue. Mullet regularly jump in the canals and this past week I finally spied one of the small crocodiles which lives in the small lake behind the office building where the VITAS south office is located. (I do think the large crocodile escaped that lake. The fence at the end of the ramp, evidently erected to keep the crocodiles impounded, appeared to have been breached, having been bent under a great weight. And I have heard reports of a 10 foot crocodile having been spotted in in the mouth of the C-100 canal at Deering Point feasting on the small snapper.) There is also a pair of horned owls which live in the trees of the small park on the C-100 canal through which I walk which I have occasionally spotted early in the morning right after sunrise.

This morning I arrived at the bay at Deering Point right at sunrise. There were growing cumulus clouds hovering on the eastern horizon which added to the splendor of the sunrise. But the most amazing part of the 15 minutes I spent standing by the bay was experiencing the waves of ibis setting out from their roosting mangroves about a half mile north of my spot. They left in groups of 15 to 30 at a time and flew in formations south. As they passed overhead and all around in wave after wave it was like some massive air force taking off and headed on some bombing run to attack some distant target. They make no squawking noise as they fly, but when a large flock passes close by the noise of the wings, the strong "whoooosh" is awesome! It was a most amazing, wonderful way to begin the day.

The pictures posted include the spider web I just observed, some samples of South Florida wildlife I often enjoy, and a sample of the low-flying, early morning ibis flocks passing close by which I photographed on another morning, not today.

Sabbath Time: Time for reflecting

“I just don’t think about it.” This is a common reply by my 93 year old grandmother who I have been visiting in Georgetown, Texas. Whether it is a function of her age, of the beginning traces of dementia, or a defense mechanism she has learned when she doesn’t want to talk about something I found it a fascinating reply. She offered it often when I would ask her some query, like why they receive nice linen napkins at their tables for lunch, but then receive large 2 foot by 3 foot cotton terrycloth bibs for dinner? She didn’t know. She just doesn’t think about it. I told her that was the sort of trivia about which I often find myself thinking. I would want to know. I would assume there must be a reason and I would wonder what that reason might be.

Martin Heidegger, German philosopher who lived from 1889 – 1976, said in an address given in 1955 that the greatest danger of our time was that the calculating way of thinking, that is part of the technical revolution, will become the dominating and exclusive way of thinking. Why is this so dangerous? Heidegger said: “Because then we would find, together with the highest and the most successful development of our thinking on the calculating level, an indifference towards reflection and a complete thoughtlessness … then humanity would have renounced and thrown away what is most its own, its ability to reflect. What is at stake is to save the essence of humanity. What is at stake is to keep alive our reflective thinking.”

Coming across that quote recently, and visiting my grandmother, began to crystallize some thoughts for me. I agree with Heidegger on the importance of the ability to reflect on life. Animals don’t seem to have this ability. It is part of what makes dogs such wonderful pets: they don’t remember and reflect upon the vagaries of human behavior. They grow to love those human beings who take care of them and they then do so with a complete devotion, with unconditional love, never flagging in their zeal to show that love. Other animals a primarily concerned with survival, with finding food and maintaining their security, and with breeding and perpetuating their species.

Certainly we human beings are concerned with those matters, but a large part of what makes us different, perhaps even unique, is our ability to also reflect upon our experience. We have the ability to remember, to recall, to think about and ruminate over what we did, what happened to us, and imbue it with meaning.

But as we have become more proficient at problem-solving, at calculating and planning, especially with the aid of technology, have we become so engrossed, obsessed, and consumed with this thought process that we take less time to pause, recall, remember and reflect upon the life we are living, the experiences we are having, and find some deeper meaning to our lives?

This is an important reason for Sabbath time. Not just to relax. Not just to take it easy and rest. But also to have time to think, not in a calculating, planning, problem-solving sort of way, but rather in a slower, thoughtful, reflective manner. Sabbath time allows us to just be still with our lives, to recall our experiences, to remember them and to reflect upon them. As we do, we begin to identify larger patterns, deeper meanings, and fresh insights that are refreshing, renewing, and enlarging of our lives.

My grandmother may not think about such things. (Although I suspect she might do more reflecting than she owns up to.) But I definitely need and desire to think about such things. In fact, I yearn to reflect upon many things. Sabbath time is indeed sacred time. It is time to reflect and keep alive that divine quality with which God blessed us when creating us in God’s image.

The Glorious Poinciana

It was a scene straight out of some "indie" film. I was lying on my back, floating in my pool with my ears submerged so I heard no sound but the sound of the water. Staring straight up from there I was gazing at the most beautiful scarlet-orange poinciana blossoms, framed by the nearly lime-green miniature leaves fresh this spring, against a hazy bluish-white sky. It was deliriously gorgeous. (Poinciana trees [several pictures of them are posted here for those unfamiliar with them] are quite possibly my very favorite thing about living in South Florida. Along with the glorious weather 12 months of the year, which allows for continual golf, bougainvillea blossoms, orchids, frangipani trees, peacocks, ibis, white herons, and so many things that truly make this paradise.) With no sound accosting my ears or my awareness, what I was viewing was immensely more beautiful and intense. I felt like I was watching the opening scene of some strange, artsy, Sundance-worthy independent film and the camera was soon going to pan away to some obscure, or some strangely horrific scene. It was a mini-sabbatical moment.

I have been able to find such mini-sabbatical moments quite frequently, I have just been very terrible about making the time to write them down and reflect on them in the blog. I made a commitment to write at least once a month in this blog and I have done a terrible job fulfilling that commitment. Nor have I been writing in my journal, although I have probably written several more times there than here.

One of those journal entries I was able to identify that television watching had become part of my downfall for finding time to write and reflect on life. (Although I am doing quite a bit of writing, as I have now begun posting a weekly eDevotion for the members of my church, and having become Moderator of the Florida Conference United Church of Christ I am now needing to write a quarterly column for their newsletter and I intend to begin writing, perhaps monthly, eDevotions for the Conference clergy and lay leaders.) I do like to write. It is very cathartic for me and probably my favorite means for expressing myself. I really do enjoy the discipline of writing in this blog and in my journal and when I do not make that time I greatly miss it.

Anyway, I am recommitting myself, and I believe since we are entering the summer season and the regular television shows have all ended (including Lost, which was phenomenal, Fringe, which is almost as good, The Amazing Race, the only reality show worth watching, American Idol, what can I say, I get sucked in like everyone else, V, I am a sucker for Sci-Fi, and two which have been cancelled, so I will hopefully be watching a little less come next Fall, Heroes and FlashFoward) to writing regularly in my journal and on this blog. I will be making a stronger effort to share with you more of my experiences with mini-sabbaticals and other reflections on the wonderful dance of Sabbath Tango.

A Most Unusual Sabbath Moment

I continue to struggle, obviously, with my commitment to write every day in my journal and regularly on this blog. I still am not quite sure why. I do believe I am having trouble managing all my email and my addiction to information on Facebook and other blogs. That may be more excuse, or symptom, rather than actual issue, but that is where my thinking is moving right now.

I did have a reflection that grew out of a rather unique "sabbath" moment. I will share part of the reflection and then maybe add some more comments afterward. This is what I wrote one night back in January while I was on-call for VITAS Hospice and attending a death.

So I'm sitting in a patient's room in a nursing home, waiting for the funeral home to come and transport her body. On the wall facing her bed, in this otherwise very cold and sterile environment, is a small print of Seurat's "La Grande Jatte." It is a rather interesting painting hanging in a strange setting, so that I find it rather absurd. The painting is full of life, though somewhat surreal due to the pointillism style of design and due to the strange aura of underlying horror, sadness, uncomfortable feeling that pervades what, on the surface appears as a happy painting about people enjoying a bright day in a park. Having thought about it, perhaps it is a most appropriate print for a place where there is horror, sadness, and great discomfort being lived out every day in a facility that makes only a token effort to mask the horrible reality of people aging and dying without the presence of real love and often in great loneliness.

I always think of my son, Paul, when I see that painting. It is one of his favorite pieces of art. I called him in Salt Lake City (actually I texted him and then he called me back) to share my experience with him of seeing this print in this surreal setting. We had a very good conversation. He has clearly begun a new life for himself in Salt Lake City. His family, me included, clearly wants to still take care of him and cushion him from the harsh realities of the world. But I am growing to believe that he needs to find his own way in the world - even if it means taking some lumps along the way. I know he has a good foundation we gave to him. I know he is a smart young man and I truly believe he knows we are there for him. I trust him to himself and the arms of God and know he will be OK.

I do not often have a chance while I am working for VITAS to spend time in reflection and in jotting down some of those thoughts. Usually on a death visit I am very focused on family members present and helping them begin to cope with their grief over the loss of their loved one, as well as handle the details of calling the funeral home, dispose of the controlled medications in sent to the patient, and fill out the paper work to document the death and what I have done.

But in this case, there was no family present. Family was notified but chose not to come to the nursing home. There was no staff present, they were off handling other patients. So it was just me alone, with the dead patient, and my thoughts. It turned out to be a very positive and helpful "sabbath" time for reflection about life, death, and my relationship with my son.

What I learned out of the experience was to be alert for those moments of "mini-sabbath" opportunities that occur along the way. They are most irregular. They often come out of the blue, usually when you are not really looking for them. But they can be very powerful, both in terms of nurturing my soul, my spiritual life, but also in terms of nurturing my heart and mind. They can bring a refreshing sense of mental and emotional renewal, as well as spiritual renewal. A new step in the dance of Sabbath Tango!

The pictures are from the Art Institute in Chicago, the Seurat painting "La Grande Jatte." The larger picture is the whole piece. The closer view of the little girl in the middle begins to illustrate some of the underlying unsettling feelings in the picture.

Some final thoughts on/in 2009!

Happy New Year! It is 11:00 p.m. on December 31, 2009. I have done a lousy job of regular postings on this blog this past fall. My last post, "A New Commitment to Sabbath Time" talked about a plan for incorporating mini-retreats into my monthly schedule. I did achieve that to some extent: I had a trip to Orlando in November for the Florida Conference Board of Directors' meeting. I had some great reflection time in the car on the drive to Orlando and actually composed some blog posts in my mind, but then never made the time to sit down and actually commitment them to computer and post on the blog!!!! Then I had a nice weekend off for my annual immersion in NASCAR during the final Sprint Cup race in Homestead, Florida. That has developed into a very enjoyable, mindless, ritual event for me. It started as a means to better connect with my son who was a temporary NASCAR fan when in elementary school, because his best friend was a fan. Eventually Paul grew out of that interest, which was never very deep, but I had become hooked. Unfortunately, the weekend is all focused on watching the cars drive the track and there is not much reflection or meditation time. It is not an experience that requires a lot of mental activity, but it does require focus, even if somewhat mindless. Still, I have grown to enjoy it and look forward to it every year. Over Thanksgiving I enjoyed a long weekend, with a trip to Naples to have Turkey Dinner with my father-in-law. You may remember from the last post that during the trip to Naples in October I actually developed a deeper appreciation for the view from his patio as a place to meditate, reflect and blog. But that didn't develop this time in November, or on our trip over on Christmas Day. Both trips were nice and relaxing in terms of providing a break from the regular hectic schedule of daily work life. The first weekend of December also provided a break of sorts. Dianne and I traveled to Melbourne/Palm Bay to join with the Riviera UCC folks in celebrating 120 years of ministry to those two communities. This was the church I served for 9 years upon first coming to Florida when it was located in downtown Melbourne. I had very little responsibility for the weekend, just reading scripture in worship on Sunday, and enjoying their celebration banquet, greeting and visiting with old friends, on Saturday evening. It was a nice break from the regular Advent routine. This past week was nice and slow and I had a good visit with my two children, even if too brief with my son. He and his sister arrived the day after Christmas, along with Dianne's daughter, her family, and Di's brother and family for a very full day of family Christmas. Then there was worship on Sunday. But we did get to the movies twice as a family, enjoyed several videos and one game of cards, and several good dinners. Now he has gone back to Palm Bay for three days before flying back to Utah for the start of the next semester at college. His sister is returning here tomorrow for a few more days with us, along with one of her new law school buddies who needed a Florida sunshine break from the Pennsylvania winter.

The only problem with all those breaks these past two months is they were actually too many. The result was even more stress and pressure during the regular weeks of work, as all my regular work commitments had to be completed in the remaining time each month. While I really enjoyed the down time and the change of schedule, what I learn from this experience is the need for balance: I need some down time for reflection and meditation, but not too much, unless it is a large block of time taken all at once, like a week or two of vacation, or a longer retreat or continuing education event. I also need to make sure and incorporate at least a brief period for reflecting and writing those reflections so that the time takes on more depth and, especially when I do have a meaningful reflection like I did several times on some of the long drives, I don't lose those thoughts to the ether.

Anyway, while I missed November with a post, here is one for December, a final one for 2009, and I am saving some thoughts for tomorrow morning and hopefully my first post for 2010. Happy New Year!

A New Commitment to Sabbath Time

The sky was bright blue. There was a gentle breeze blowing off the Gulf of Mexico, which was shimmering invitingly beyond the mangroves & Australian pines. Sitting on my father-in-law’s fifth floor balcony in Naples on Wednesday morning, October 22, working on my submissions for the church newsletter, I wished that was my office setting all the time. I would really enjoy working in such a relaxed setting with such a beautiful, inspiring view.

Later that day Dianne and I then drove north to Clearwater Beach and set up shop on the ninth floor of the Hilton, with a balcony facing north presenting a view of Clearwater Bay and the condos, homes and palm trees of this sleepy little island to the east, and of the beach and the Gulf of Mexico to the west. While this was been a working trip for Dianne who went there to conduct the wedding of the youngest child of a life-long friend she has known since they were both 10 years old, for me it was another form of Sabbath retreat. Yes, I did engage in some work activities: finishing up my newsletter submissions as I previously mentioned, answering emails from parishioners and colleagues, scheduling a substitute preacher for an upcoming Sunday, participating in a conference call meeting of a committee of the Florida Conference UCC, and doing some reading as research for Sunday’s sermon. Even so, there was a much more relaxed rhythm to my days, with work slipped into the seams and edges of the day, while there were also many renewing and regenerating activities composing the bulk of my activity. Each day included a 75 minute walk on the beach (twice at sunrise, once in the middle of the day). I read the New York Times from front page to back every day (a much more complete, comprehensive, and interesting newspaper than my hometown Miami Herald). All three meals every day were relaxed times with Dianne, without a TV and with good conversation. I even enjoyed a little bit of pleasure reading, starting the Pat Conroy novel, South of Broad.

Early in my career as a pastor I read somewhere the suggestion that a pastor ought to schedule a monthly retreat for the purpose of self-renewal, spiritual regeneration and growth. I never felt I could afford to do that every month. I have always been very faithful about observing and keeping my day off each week (of course most people in the work force in the US get two days off, but clergy never seem entitled to that perk). I have also, occasionally, tried to schedule a quarterly retreat, a few days away from my ministry setting, usually at a retreat house. But I have never established even that as a regular pattern. But since my Sabbatical, when I learned how truly renewing time away from the regular schedule of responsibilities, activities, and expectations can be, this past year I have been reflecting more upon the nature of Sabbath as time away. As I look back at the year, especially through these blog posts, I realize I have had some sort of time away almost every month. Some of it has been around family concerns; my father’s failing health and then death, my children going off to law school and college, attending this wedding to support Dianne. Some of it has been more related to work; attending the Florida Conference Annual Meeting and staying over an extra day to enjoy Daytona Beach with my wife. And some has been family vacation time; our trip to Chicago to celebrate Dianne’s birthday with family, our quick trip to Savannah in September.

The result has been a more relaxed pastor during the more common active periods of ministry. I have been able to go about my work with greater energy, a better balanced sense of priorities and perspective, and a fresher capability for creativity. This past year this schedule evolved more by accident than by planning. Having a better understanding of the benefit such a schedule provides, however, leads me to the decision that I want to commit to such a schedule in the future. Toward that end I plan to take a mini-retreat each month this next year. If I will be away during the month for Conference related business or vacation time, I will dedicate a part of that time away to some intentional Sabbath time of reflection and renewal. If such time does not present itself in a month, I will take a 2-3 day mini-retreat during one week of the month and get away from my home, my regular routine, and set aside the time to spend in intentional prayer and reflection on life and my ministry. Such a schedule should provide great benefit to me and to my ministry, and possibly ensure a longer tenure with renewed energy and a healthier attitude and outlook. Stay tuned for more updates on the Sabbath Tango experiment!

Sabbath Tango is a Difficult Dance

I am really struggling to keep posting to this blog. I had set myself a goal of having at least one post each month this year, and here it is almost to the end of September before I am adding something for this month. The month almost slipped by without a post, and I even had 10 days off from work for vacation time with Dianne this month! I must say, it was a very mixed bag as far as vacation time goes. We had to begin the time with a trip to Naples, FL to check on her father who is having some health issues and then we had to end the time with another trip to Naples the last two days to check up on him again. Thankfully, the two trips resulted in good news from the doctors visited, so they were certainly worthwhile and necessary.

Sandwiched between these two trips to Naples was a quick trip to Savannah, GA, which is apparently becoming our new "favorite" southern city. (Sorry Charleston, you are being edged out by your neighbor to the south!) Savannah is a lovely, old south city filled with charm, story, restored 150 year-old houses and other architectural structures, lovely shaded squares, and very gracious hospitality. It also has a beach on Tybee Island (which Charleston has, too) which is very necessary for us as both of us worry we will dry up and wither away if we are ever removed too far from an ocean for too long! We had a very nice time in Savannah. The B & B where we stayed was lovely and very comfortable. The hosts were most attentive and prepared very delicious & filling breakfasts. We had some exquisite meals, very delicious and at least one, very gourmet! We enjoyed some jazz and some street artists.

It was a very enjoyable 4 days. But it did not have the feel of "sabbath" time. Why was that? It was vacation. It was a break from my regular routine. But it was not that special, step aside and live life at a different pace, time. It was somewhat diminished by the fact that I had not completed the work I needed to finish before leaving by Sunday, and so a big chunk of Monday and Tuesday, when I was in Naples, and then back in Miami before leaving for Savannah, was spent working on articles for the Church newsletter. I think it was also kept from being Sabbath time because of the time spent attending to my father-in-law's medical needs. (That was important time and necessary for us to pay attention to, but it was not sabbath time.) And then, for some reason, we filled the time in Savannah to the brim with activity: visiting Fort Pulaski (which was very interesting); visiting the Tybee light house; visiting Bonaventure Cemetery; visiting antique dealers and old houses, including the Mercer-Williams house, which was made famous by Johnny Mercer, whose great-grandfather began building the house before the Civil War, did not finish the house after the war, sold it to someone else, and no other Mercer, including Johnny, ever lived in the house! Everything we did was interesting. But in the short time we were there it felt like we filled the time too much with activity and not enough with laid-back, down-time, with no activity except perhaps to read, enjoy the gardens of the B & B, maybe even sleep some extra time.

What I would conclude is Sabbath Time is hard to find. We do not live in a world that encourages or nurtures sabbath time activities. Even our regular Sabbath Days, (Saturday for the Jews and Seventh-Day Adventists and Sunday for Christians) are filled with activity. For most of us, finding even an hour on Sabbath Day to gather with others for worship is often difficult. And forget about trying to find sabbath time during the rest of the week. Unless you have been laid-off, downsized, or had your hours cut-back, because of the bad economy, you are not working a 40 hour week, you are working a 50 or 60 hour week, often spread over 6 days instead of 5. On top of that you are needing to spend many hours attending to chores and tasks at home. So actually finding time for rest, relaxation, meditation, worship, just being and enjoying creation, it very, very difficult. It is most certainly a dance. As "Dancing with the Stars" has demonstrated for all America, to master a dance takes hard, hard work, time, and dedication. We keep wanting sabbath time to just "materialize" and when it doesn't, we don't seem to know how to advocate for our right to it and are afraid to proclaim how important it is. I wish I had an answer, but instead, as my minimal posts illustrate, it is a difficult tango for me to master as well.

Enjoy the pictures above of Savannah. It is a lovely city. And I encourage you to keep practicing your sabbath tango, as I promise to keep trying to do as well!

Walking Up & Down Memory Lane at 8,000 feet

Walking 1.8 miles uphill, achieving an elevation change of 1,040 feet in that distance, at altitudes of 7,500 to 8,500 feet just about did in the lungs of this sea level fellow! Today I walked up & down memory lane, basking in nostalgia, as I did the above in Mill Creek Canyon. This canyon has always been my canyon of choice. It is the closest canyon to Westminster College, in the Wasatch Mountains. Within 15 minutes I was traveling up the canyon from the eastern shelf of the Salt Lake Valley, moving from below 5,000 feet to over 7,000 feet in my car (I pitied the poor fools trying to make the climb on their bicycles!) The only hitch in the day was the fact that the first half of my hike took place in a steady, light rain shower. It was hard enough though to require me putting on my jacket (as much due to the cooler temps from the rain and altitude) and to carrying my umbrella, since I was concerned for my camera in my "supposedly" rain-resistant backpack. (Camera survived fine. Backpack is a good one.) I am sure I was quite a sight in my black tennis shoes, white socks, tan shorts, black jacket, backpack, and black umbrella! Oh well, everything stayed relatively dry and it did make it a little more enjoyable!

After surviving the climb in the rain, I was blessed by the rain stopping and the sky clearing to blue on my descent. Along the way I took lots of pictures of mountains, trees (both pines and aspens), tons of wildflowers, a squirrel who was quite agitated by my presence, and the stream that runs down the canyon alongside the trail. After descending and enjoying lunch in a picnic area, I took some photos of the Salt Lake Valley from the mouth of the canyon, which afforded a wonderful panoramic view from high on the eastern shelf.

Mill Creek Canyon was where I spent most of my hiking and canyon time when I attended Westminster College. One winter a friend and I attempted to snowshoe, on rented, plastic snowshoes, in this canyon and struggled through 10 feet or more of snow. Not very successful. Another friend and I did some low level rock climbing in this canyon, and I took at least one or two girls up the canyon for some romantic hikes. (I also took my wife, Dianne, up this same trail to Dog Lake 14 years ago when we visited Salt Lake City on our "Grand Western Loop" via car.) I remember visiting the trail heads one June and it was snowing at that altitude! It was a wonderful way to end my "Sabbath Time" visit to Salt Lake City. Paul is ensconced in Westminster College. I have enjoyed a deep draft from the well of Zion (as the Mormons call it), a locale I dearly love. My body is tired, but my spirit is refreshed. I am ready to return to Miami!

The photos are from my hike!

A Sacred Time of Transition

A low, gray, overcast sky has greeted us on the final day of Orientation at Westminster College in Salt Lake City, Utah. Since Paul and I landed 4 days ago the weather has been hot with bright blue, cloudless skies every day. Somehow this weather today feels appropriate for a day of saying goodbye to my son as all the other parents will be doing as well. I do wonder what they will be doing about the "Regional Brunches" which are to be held outside on the lawn in front of the library?

Yesterday was a day of moving in, settling in his dorm room, meeting his roommate, checking out the college job fair to sign-up for possible work-study jobs, gathering information about the activities and life on the Westminster campus, hearing presentations from various administrative staff, and meeting and greeting various faculty. It was a day clearly designed to help students and parents transition to college life and to begin the process of separation for the parents and integration into the Westminster community for the students.

A beautiful and very inspirational event was the Convocation held late in the afternoon in the Field House. Families and friends were seated in the bleachers, with seats arranged on the main floor for the students and faculty. The sound of bagpipes announced the opening processional as the Utah Pipers Band led in the faculty, wearing their colorful academic regalia, who formed two lines to create a welcoming corridor for the new students to pass through upon entering. It had much of the pomp and circumstance of a graduation and was another clear indication of the benefits of attending a smaller college, where this sort of ritual and ceremony is still an important part of the life of the college community. Listening to the various speeches it became clear to me again of the strength of this college. Though small and relatively unknown, Westminster has a clear vision and educational philosophy which is strongly grounded in a collaborative learning model that approaches the students not just as receptacles of knowledge, but talented, intelligent, capable participants in creating a learning environment. Westminster is clearly about forming scholars and shaping thinkers for leadership and participation in the world. I remembered why I treasured my time and education at Westminster so much, and became further convinced that this was an excellent choice for Paul to make for his college education. I know deep in my heart he is going to thrive in this environment.

While I spoke in an earlier post about taking children off to college as another type of sabbatical experience, it is not typical sabbath time at all. It is a very busy time: helping both of my children settle into their new homes was extremely time consuming. It is also a very emotional time, perhaps more so for me this year because both Paul and Rebekah are living outside the state of Florida for the first time since they were born. Even so, it is a time filled with reflection. It is a different time than normal daily life. It is a time for marking passages in their lives, in my life, in our family life. It is a truly sacred time.

The pictures above include Paul settling into his dormitory room, participating in the convocation, and a sample of the view he will enjoy for the next four years, the Wasatch Mountains which are omnipresent as they loom over the Salt Lake Valley in the east.

Another Type of Sabbath Experience - Taking Children Off to College!

For the past four days I have been embarked on another type of Sabbatical experience: accompanying my oldest, my daughter Rebekah, to Pennsylvania to help her settle into her new apartment. She has moved to Carlisle, PA and is enrolled in Dickinson Law School of Penn State University. My little girl is off on a new adventure, passing another milestone, and taking another giant step into adulthood. Is all this truly happening? Is she really becoming a Law School student, embarking on a graduate degree, in a far northern state? Where did the past 22 years go? I really am proud of her and so happy for the opportunity she has before her. I know she will do well and achieve amazing things. But as any parent who has experienced this knows, it is such a bittersweet time. Although I must admit, the past four days have been so busy - driving from Miami to PA in just over 24 hours, with a six hour stop to sleep and a two hour stop in IKEA, Baltimore, to purchase furniture (more on that adventure in a moment); several trips to WalMart and Target and another trip back to Baltimore IKEA to pick-up furniture and a variety of items one needs to set up house in a new location; hours spent assembling furniture; a little time today to explore the town and see where Bekah will be living and studying for the next three years - that I have had precious little time to sit and think and reflect and actually allow the grief feelings at this step to take hold of me. Perhaps tomorrow on the flight home, when she actually takes me to the airport and she makes another trip to Baltimore IKEA!

So, what is up with IKEA? Bekah was told by customer service when she called them weeks ago from Miami that they could deliver her furniture to her apartment in PA for a fee of $99 if she purchased it in the store. They also said if she did so before 3:00 p.m. they could deliver it that same day! So, we dashed to Baltimore from Miami, barely stopping to sleep, to arrive at IKEA before 3:00 p.m. on Monday (a highway construction delay topped off with an accident scene in the middle of it cost us about 30 minutes, but we still made 3:00 p.m. Hooray!) At the home delivery desk we learned they ONLY deliver to her region in PA on WEDNESDAY OR FRIDAY! So it would not have mattered when we arrived on Monday, the furniture would not arrive before Wednesday!!! Of course, the car was loaded to the gills so we could not take the furniture ourselves at that moment. She arranged for the delivery and we made our way to Carlisle, found her apartment (a ground floor in a nice row house), met her landlord, did the walk-thru, signed the lease, and unloaded the car. The next day we trekked back to IKEA in Baltimore (about a 90 minute trip) to pick-up the furniture ourselves. Upon arrival back in Carlisle we began assembling the furniture, starting with the bed. After getting the sideboards attached to the head & foot board we were ready for step 6, attaching the middle support beam. Could not find it! Momentarily panicked that we had messed up royally when we unpacked the bed frame at IKEA in order to fit it in the Hyundai Accent and thought we might have left the support beam in the box! After Bekah called IKEA we learned that no, we had not messed up, THEY DID! It seems this is one of the furniture pieces sold in multiple packages, and you must purchase each package and pay for them separately. On Monday when she purchased the furniture, one of the store employees went through the self-service section and pulled her furniture for her and placed it on the cart. So we had not gathered it ourselves and had no idea that there were three parts to the bed. The IKEA customer service employee's response when that was explained to him was, "Oh, sorry about that." Since we could not finish the bed without that piece, Bekah has been sleeping on her mattress on the floor inside the bed frame. Plus, she will now have to drive back to IKEA Baltimore on Thursday after taking me to the Harrisburg airport! IKEA is still her favorite store, for the merchandise! She loves their product. But it has slipped significantly in her eyes in terms of their Customer Service!

Aside from the furniture difficulties, we have had a wonderful time together. It has been marvelous to explore her new home town with her. Carlisle is a lovely, very old, small town in rural Pennsylvania. It sits in the shadows of the Allegheny mountains to the West and North of town, in a beautiful valley still filled with farmland. It is a town rich in history, having been founded before the Revolutionary War; having been visited by George Washington who used it as a staging area to assist in quelling the Whiskey Rebellion in western PA; playing a significant role in the Civil War campaign decided at Gettysburg (which lies just about 20 miles to the South.) Dickinson College was founded in 1783 by Benjamin Rush, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and the Law School founded about 50 years later in the early 1800's.

While the time with Bekah has been packed full of activity, it has also been a rewarding time for me, having this final, father/daughter time with her. I don't know if we shall ever have time like this again, or if so, how soon. She is just about all grown up. In three years she will be a law school graduate and quite possibly on her way to being married. She will undoubtedly end up with a very busy, very demanding law position and will have less and less time for her father. I am not crying poor me, I know this and I really do want this for her. She is pursuing a dream she has had since she was in elementary school and she first declared at the dinner table she was going to be a lawyer and a Supreme Court Justice. I am totally confident she will achieve those dreams. I am just extremely pragmatic and realize the road to those dreams will involve me less and less. Which makes me extremely grateful for any special time I receive with her, such as these past four days. It has truly been a blessing and I am so glad I was able to enjoy this first step in her adventure with her.

Next week I get to accompany Paul as he begins his own adventure: first year of college at Westminster College in Salt Lake City, Utah! Check back in a week for further reflections as my new Sabbatical experience doubles with my second child leaving home for schooling outside the state of Florida!

The pictures above are samples of Rebekah's new life in PA!

The Difficulty of Learning the Sabbath Tango

Here it is July 22, 2009, and I am making my first post for the month! Last year, even with six days in the wilderness of Northern Minnesota, I already had several posts by this time. In fact, by the 22nd of July, 2008, I was on my way back to Miami after the first three weeks of my Sabbatical feeling very refreshed, relaxed and ready for my South American adventure! This July 22 I am finishing up my one-week vacation, enjoying a final full day in Chicago, and wondering where the vacation time went to so fast?!? One-week of vacation is not nearly enough time off to accomplish what a vacation needs to do in terms of restoring the body, mind and soul. For example, I am just now getting over a cold that is trying to become bronchitis. This hit me two days ago, about half-way through the vacation. It took my body 4 days to realize it was on vacation before it could consider whether it wanted to get sick for vacation or not! It took my mind a good three days to realize it was on vacation before it began to shift into relaxation mode. It has taken my spirit about six days to realize it was on vacation to where I was ready to begin engaging in spirit-renewing activities, such as writing in my journal, or my blog, and reading a book just for fun! Of course, I return to Miami tomorrow and back to work on Friday, so body will have had about 4 days of vacation, 2-3 of them fighting illness; my mind will have had about 5 days of vacation, also 2-3 days of that clouded by my body's illness; and my spirit will have had about 2 days of vacation.

And that is how most of my time off this year is shaping up. We had this week in Chicago to celebrate my wife Dianne's birthday (and we had a wonderful time with our family in Chicago, Jim, Erika, and granddaughters, Madeleine & Shelby.) I will next take a 4.5 days early in August to drive with my daughter,Rebekah, to Pennsylvania to help her get settled in her apartment for Law School which begins later that month. Then, after returning to Miami, a week later I will fly with my son, Paul, out to Salt Lake City, Utah, to help him get settled in Westminster College for his freshman year. I will take about 8 days to make that trip, and the last two days will probably be alone time for me as it appears that the orientation schedule does not include parents on Monday or Tuesday. (That is fine with me, at least I will get a little bit of solo vacation out of the trip!) Then Dianne and I are planning to take a 10 day trip this September, probably to California. Perhaps that will be a long enough experience to bring full refreshment and renewal to my body, mind & soul?!

I am not really complaining, as much as I am bemoaning several realities. First, the fact that we expect too much out of too little far too often in our society. We expect a one or two week vacation to make up for the other 50 highly stressful, highly taxing, highly exhausting weeks we spend at work, at volunteer activities, at household chores, etc. We expect one-hour a week on Sunday mornings to renew our relationship with God and to restore our spiritual health to a balanced place to take us through the week. Our bodies, minds and spirits need regular renewal time and periodic intense, extended renewal time, for good health. It is the way we were created. Besides all the medical studies highlighting this truth, God's plan as detailed in the Bible also teaches us the same thing. God established the Sabbath at the very beginning creating the world: after six days of work, God rested. God knew when to take a break and God taught us that we need to do the same thing. Yet how infrequently do we really take a weekly Sabbath? If we are lucky enough any more to not work on Saturday or Sunday we almost always fill both days with chores and other high levels of activity. How often do we stop to ask ourselves if something we are planning to do will be renewing to our body, mind, spirit, or family relationships?

The other reality I find very sad is that there is so little acknowledgement of the importance of family and family relationships in the structure of our employment practices. I remember when the Family Leave Act was passed by Congress back in the '90's that mandated employers to allow mothers and fathers time off work for the birth or adoption of a baby. It was a major battle to get this law passed! Most employers do not allow for separate sick-leave days for caring for a family member: an employee must use their sick leave, which in most cases is pretty minimal for the year, especially when it must be divided between the employee and one or more dependents. Most employers do not allow for time off for attending to other family care situations: like attending graduations, taking children off to college, etc. To do such a parent must use vacation time. Now I realize there might always be people who would abuse some benefit, but I also realize that we as a society are extremely driven to succeed at all costs, especially when it comes to turning a profit. We have very little humane and compassionate practices in our economic, business, and social relationships. And the church gets sucked right into the same attitudes and practices. This is very sad.

But I am thankful for a caring and understanding congregation of people who, while they expect a lot out of their pastor and like for him to be available 24/7/365, still realize he is a human being who needs time away for renewal and refreshment. They are fairly flexible and as long as I am there at the critical moments, for the most part they allow me space and encourage me to find Sabbath Time so that I can be healthy, whole, and a better person and pastor. Finding such is part of the difficult dance known as Sabbath Tango. As I learned in Argentina one does not pick-up the Tango, and definitely not master it, in just a few lessons. It takes years of practice. Even so with the Sabbath Tango.

(The pictures include: A brown bear cooling himself at the Brookfield Zoo, he definitely seems to have a better handle on the Sabbath Tango than I do; Dianne & I with our children preparing to go out to celebrate her birthday with a fabulous dinner; a view of the Chicago River from the boat tour we enjoyed; a photo of me & Dianne and taking a photo of ourselves and the Chicago skyline in the Cloud Gate in Millenium Park; and a photo of Dianne, Rebekah & Paul at the sign for Millenium Park.)